Astronaut GAMES
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Adventures On The Wild Planet
Wolfgang Schulz. Even the name sounds like a discount space captain from a 90s OVA that got lost in a warehouse. The setup is pure classic hentai logic, the engine runs dry, so of course the only way to refuel is by plowing a bunch of warrior women on some backwater planet. No negotiation, no mining, just good old fashioned intergalactic diplomacy through pelvis. I respect that. It's dumb, but it's the kind of dumb that made the old internet fun before everything got sanitized. The sex tape tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. The scenes are basically static images with text, but there's a weird charm to how unpolished it all feels. The amazons look like they were drawn by someone who learned anatomy from bootleg Urusei Yatsura tapes and never quite got the proportions right. One of them has a thigh thicker than her torso and honestly? That's the good stuff. The torture tag shows up in a few spots, mostly just rough handling and some light bondage with vines or whatever, nothing that'll get you put on a list. The astronaut himself is a faceless self insert with the personality of wet cardboard, but you're not here for his character arc. The choices are minimal. You pick which amazon to approach, then the scene plays out. There's a moment where you can refuse one of them and she just... leaves. Then you're stuck wandering the same three screens until you go back and do the deed anyway. Annoying, but also kind of realistic? Like yeah, buddy, you're stranded on a planet with no fuel, maybe don't be picky. The whole thing runs in browser, so no fuss, just click and go. Some of the dialogue is translated so badly it loops back around to being poetry. "Your seed will become the star water." Sure, queen. Whatever you say. The ending is abrupt. You get the liquid, you fly off, roll credits. No epilogue, no harem ending, nothing. Felt like the dev ran out of steam, which is fitting given the plot. Still, for a quick fap with zero commitment, it scratches an itch. Just don't expect a masterpiece. It's more like finding a crumpled doujin under a park bench. You know it's trash, but you still pick it up.