Money GAMES
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The King of Porno City [November 2017]
You know what’s fucked? I spent twenty minutes just clicking through the same three animations thinking I’d broken the game. Nope. Just needed more cash. The whole loop is grind fucks for coin, unlock a new spot, grind more. It’s stupidly simple but my brain latched onto it like some idle clicker from the Kongregate days. The pornstar dude is a total piece of shit, lying to every woman about making them a star while he just wants to see how many he can knock up across the city. His dialogue is so blunt it circles back to being funny. "I will make you famous, now bend over." No charm, just raw transaction. The art is... there. Don’t expect sakimichan levels. It’s got that unpolished, almost flash-game grit where a tit might clip through an arm and nobody cared to fix it. Which I weirdly respect. The anal scenes unlock early and they don’t hold back, it’s just aggressive, mechanical pounding. The blowjob loop has this dead-eyed stare from the girl that made me laugh out loud. There’s a weird satisfaction in buying a "perverse lies" upgrade. What does it do? Makes the next girl believe your bullshit faster, I guess. The game doesn’t explain shit. Wish there was a hidden ending where the whole city turns on him. Like a mob of pregnant women with baseball bats. That’s not in the code though, I checked by replaying the park location four times. Nothing changes except the numbers go up. The money counter gets stuck sometimes if you click too fast during a hard sex scene. Annoying little bug. The whole thing feels like a fever dream you’d find on a forgotten corner of Newgrounds, complete with a total disregard for smooth gameplay. It just wants you to see the next depraved pixelated mess. And I did. I saw them all. The hospital location is just a reskin of the office. Lazy, but at that point I was too deep in the grind to care. The city’s pregnant, my wrist hurts, and I’m still not sure if I won or lost.