Fantasy Harem: Heroine Backdoor v1.0

Fucking hell, the loading screen alone tells you everything. Some bootleg art of a purple haired elf chick with proportions that make no anatomical sense, and the title "Fantasy Harem: Heroine Backdoor" in a font that looks like it was stolen from a 2005 flash game. You know exactly what you're getting into. My cat jumped off my lap the moment the first animation started, probably better judgment than me. The whole thing is this weird sandbox where you collect heroines like pokemon, except instead of battling they just sort of stand there in different costumes waiting for you to click on their bits. There's this one scene with a dark elf in what I think is supposed to be a parody of some popular anime, the costume is barely hanging on and her ass is just... I mean it's there, taking up half the screen. The animation loops are janky as shit, like someone learned Spine 2D yesterday and said "good enough." But here's the thing, I kept clicking. The harem management is nonexistent really, you just cycle through girls and positions, vaginal, anal, oral, the usual buffet. The virgin tag is funny because the male protag acts like he's never seen a tit before but then goes at it like a jackhammer. Make it make sense. Wish there was more to the crossover stuff. They tease you with these different fantasy races and parody characters but they never really interact with each other in interesting ways. Just your silent self insert dude plowing through them one by one. The interracial tag is there but it's handled with all the nuance of a brick through a window. At one point I forgot what I was doing and just stared at the looping creampie animation for like two minutes straight, the sound design is just wet slapping noises on repeat. My neighbor probably thinks I'm watching someone make mac and cheese very aggressively. The cosplay outfits change but the animations don't, so you get this monster girl in a maid outfit doing the exact same three frame bounce as the elf in bikini armor. It's lazy but also I'm still here aren't I. The backdoor stuff is exactly what it says on the tin, no surprises there, just lots of awkward positioning and that one facial expression they reuse for every single character regardless of personality. Which they don't have. Personalities I mean. They have holes. That's the game.

• parody
• big ass
• anal
• monster girl
• crossover