Attack on Hearts v0.2

You ever get that feeling where a game knows exactly what cheap trick it's pulling and doesn't give a single fuck? That's this. The character models look like someone described anime to an alien over a bad phone connection and the text formatting breaks if you sneeze near it. I love it. Mikasa's route. She's got that same dead eyed intensity but here it's directed at... well. Club activities. The photography club. There's a scene where she's adjusting the lens and her skirt rides up just slightly and the writing describes her "measuring gaze" like she's calculating the exact geometry of your bones. I had to put my phone down for a second. The dialogue options are hilariously blunt, like "stare at her thighs" is literally a choice and picking it makes her blush but also somehow respect your honesty? That's the whole game really. It knows you're here to see titan characters in compromising clubroom scenarios and it delivers with the grace of a brick through a window. The music loops after like forty seconds. Forty. I timed it. And there's this one sound effect during the... let's call them "bonding moments"... that sounds exactly like my old Nokia vibrating on a wooden table. Takes you right out of it. But then the writing hits you with something genuinely tender, like Historia whispering about how she's never felt chosen before, and you forget the jank for a moment. The art club route involves a lot of "posing" and the dialogue tree is basically just a series of escalating dares. Levi's route is surprisingly soft, all about cleaning supplies and unexpected proximity in storage closets. The whole thing's held together with duct tape and sheer audacity. It doesn't need to be polished. It just needs you to pick a club and see what happens when the bell rings and everyone else goes home.

• parody
• romance
• attack on titan
• hentai
• aot