Black Jack and Helmet

Black Helmet's back on the prowl, and this time the whole setup is some kind of fever dream where a card monster named Black Jack is guarding the route to a princess. You're not just clicking through a story, you're dropped into a maze floor covered with cards. The logic here is pure splatterpunk, like someone took a porn VHS and left it in a microwave with a deck of playing cards. The real model they used for the princess scenes, she's got that look, you know the one, where she's pretending to be asleep but her mouth is slightly open and you just know what's coming. The blowjob animations are the main prize, obviously, and they're rendered with this weirdly specific attention to how spit looks under bad lighting. Getting to those scenes though, that's the maze part. It's a labyrinth where you flip cards to move, and sometimes you hit a blackjack minigame that feels like it was coded by someone who learned rules from a drunk uncle. Hit 21 and the monster lets you pass, bust and you're back to wandering. The logic of the maze, I don't know, sometimes left takes you right and the walls all look the same after a while. There's this one corner near what I think is the center where the card pattern repeats three times and I walked in a circle for five minutes before realizing the exit was literally one tile back. The video loops for the princess scenes are short, like really short, maybe four different angles total, and one of them has this weird frame skip right when things get interesting. You'd think for a game about hunting sex through a card maze they'd have more variety once you actually win. The whole thing runs in browser, no downloads, which is good because I wouldn't want this sitting on my hard drive with its file name being some random string of numbers and letters. The blackjack monster design is actually kind of funny, this floating helmet thing with cards for teeth. Reminds me of those old Newgrounds games where the artist clearly spent all their time on the tits and phoned in everything else. The maze could use a map or at least some landmark that isn't just another goddamn ace of spades.

• maze
• blackjack
• blowjob
• video
• real model