Assfucking Daisy

I don't know what I expected from a game called something like Princess Daisy Anal Fuck Simulator but here we are. The whole thing is just her bent over, that yellow dress bunched up around her waist, and you get a slider for speed. That's it. No levels, no coins, no stupid Toad telling you the princess is in another castle. Just her asshole and a dick that looks like it was drawn by someone who only ever saw a penis in a medical diagram from 1987. The creampie button is right there, no buildup needed. You can just tap it whenever, fill her up in two seconds flat if you're feeling like a degenerate speedrunner. I spent maybe ten minutes just moving the slider back and forth, watching the animation loop stutter when I switched from slow to fast. The doggystyle position is the only thing on offer, which is fine I guess, but her face is completely blank the whole time. Like she's thinking about what to buy at the grocery store. I wish there was at least a sound or something, a little "wahoo" stolen from Mario Kart would've been hilarious. But no, silent treatment. The art is rough, real rough. Her tits don't move at all, which is a crime considering the big cock tag promised something more... impactful. The whole thing feels like a Newgrounds flash game from 2005 that somehow survived the purge. I kept clicking around the edges of the screen hoping for a hidden menu, maybe an option to switch holes or something, but nah. You get anal and you'll like it. The cum effect is just a white splatter that appears and then stays there, no drip, no cleanup. I left it running while I scrolled through Twitter on my phone, the repetitive slapping noise blending into the background. Honestly the most relaxing part of my day.

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• doggystyle
• anal
• super mario bros.
• prinsess daisy