St.Patricks Double Vision

ok so imagine you're at this bar and there's a redhead in leather pants doing things on a stage that would get the venue shut down in 47 states. the whole premise is beer makes the horny go up. like, mathematically. drink a pint, the show gets twice as intense. or suddenly there's two of them. st patrick's day logic I guess. the game doesn't explain the cloning physics and honestly I respect that. the catching mechanic is basically you're a perv with a bucket trying to... intercept? collect? the clothes as they come off. it's an arcade thing. you move left right, miss a bra and you lose points or whatever. I failed so many times on purpose just to see the failure animation because the redhead's expression when you whiff is this perfect mix of disappointment and "I knew you were useless". chef's kiss. the leather outfit phase is the best part and then she transitions into something else and I got weirdly emotional about it. not because of the nudity that's obviously the point but because the leather just worked, you know? the sound design is literally just crowd noises and a looping jig track that will burrow into your skull and live there rent free. the public setting tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting because the background characters are just... shapes. vague horny shapes. they cheer when you catch a stocking. I started imagining they were all my ex coworkers. made it better. made it worse. the real model thing is interesting because her proportions don't look like a melted anime doll, she's got that "could probably beat you at darts" energy. there's a celebration screen if you do well enough and I won't spoil it but let's just say I felt both proud and deeply ashamed. the striptease ramps up in a way that feels less like a game and more like a negotiation with your own self control. anyway the beer mechanic is bullshit because in real life alcohol doesn't make anyone twice as anything except twice as likely to text someone you shouldn't. 0/10 realism, downloaded it three times.

• redhead
• striptease
• erotic
• catcher
• public