Frankie Nourish and Bloo

Frankie’s hair is the exact shade of a traffic cone that’s been left in the sun too long. I kept zooming in on it instead of, you know, the actual point of the game. Might be my phone screen but the touch dragging felt like trying to steer a shopping cart with one broken wheel. Not that it matters much once the animation loops. It’s a Foster’s parody, obviously, and Bloo is here being the worst little blue gremlin imaginable. The whole thing is maybe two positions but they lean hard into the one from behind. There’s a lot of grunting and those weird bubbly sound effects that make you feel like you’re watching a vore video by accident. Cumshot tag is earned, I’ll give them that, it’s very generous. Probably too generous. Like a firehose of mayo. But here’s the thing. The humor tag is doing some heavy lifting. Frankie’s face cycles between annoyed and confused, and honestly that’s funnier than most actual porn. I wish there was a button to make her roll her eyes at the camera mid thrust. That won’t happen. Also I completely forgot Bloo could talk in the show and here he just kind of gurgles, which is fair. The loop ends and you’re just sitting there, thumb still hovering, wondering if there’s a secret second scene if you tap Frankie’s left shoe or something. There isn’t. I tried for like five minutes. The redhead fans will be fed, everyone else can go back to scrolling. I think I saw a funny loading icon once, like a tiny imaginary friend flipping you off, but that might have been a glitch. Anyway.

• redhead
• humor
• hentai
• parody
• funny