Backside Call Ep. 23 Bar Leaping

The whole thing feels like someone made it in a weekend after watching too many pickup artist videos from 2016. Jake stands there with his weird static smile while the bar timer ticks down from 2am. The girls all have these massive bouncing chests that clip through their shirts sometimes, which honestly made me laugh more than any of the actual jokes. The dialogue choices are where it gets properly unhinged. You can pick between being a complete tool or somehow even worse, and the responses you get back feel like they were written by someone who's only ever talked to women through a screen door. There's this one girl who just stares at you while you cycle through pickup lines that get progressively more desperate. I picked the option about her "energy" and she literally just walked away mid sentence. No fade out, no transition, just turned and walked into the bar wall and disappeared. The sound design is basically nonexistent except for this one looping bar ambience track that has what I swear is a microwave beeping in the background every forty seconds. Drove me absolutely mental until I figured out it was part of the game and not my actual kitchen. The sex scenes unlock if you manage to not completely fumble the conversation, which is harder than it sounds because the "right" choices make zero logical sense. Compliment her shoes? She leaves. Ask about the weather? Suddenly she's interested. The animations during the scenes are stiff in a way that circles back around to being fascinating, like watching mannequins discover physics for the first time. There's no voice acting, just text boxes and those same looping expressions. I kept playing way longer than I should have just to see if there was some hidden depth or a joke I was missing. There wasn't. But I did find a dialogue path where Jake starts talking about cryptocurrency unprompted and the girl's response is just "..." for three text boxes straight. That's the realest moment in the entire thing.

• pickup
• humor
• bar
• booty call
• big tits