Kasumi and Bass v1.0

So I'm scrolling through this thing, right, and the whole premise is already busted before you click anything. Jaina Proudmoore from WoW and Kasumi from Dead or Alive. In the same room. With Garrosh Hellscream and Bass Armstrong just... there. Like someone's weird folder got turned into a browser tab. The sound design is something else. Not music, not really. It's this low, thumping loop that feels like someone left a subwoofer on in the next apartment. You know how in actual DOA, Bass does that ridiculous suplex and the ground shakes? They tried to capture that feeling with just audio and it's so unpolished it wraps back around to being hypnotic. The proportions are insane, obviously. Jaina's cleavage has its own gravitational pull, areolas the size of Proudmoore family crests. Garrosh is hung like he's compensating for the whole Siege of Orgrimmar. There's no real game here, you just click through scenes where these characters mash against each other with all the grace of action figures being smashed together. One moment Kasumi's doing her ninja flip thing, next she's just... positioned. The big thighs tag isn't lying. Bass looks like he's made of flesh-colored geometry that's about to clip through the floor. I wish there was an actual fighting mechanic. Like, earn the scene through a janky DOA/WoW hybrid bout. Won't happen. What you get is this fever dream where lore doesn't exist and everyone's just a collection of oversized parts. The orc dick physics are frankly more detailed than Jaina's entire face model. I spent five minutes just watching the idle animations loop because the whole thing has this car crash quality. You don't play it so much as witness it, this strange, horny artifact that somehow exists. The bass sound effect when Garrosh moves still haunts me. Not in a bad way. Just... there. Like tinnitus with intent.

• sound
• big cleavage
• big areola
• jaina proudmoore
• dead or alive