League of Pleasures

The art style, holy shit. It looks like someone traced over League splash screens with a shaky hand and then forgot to add shadows. Miss Fortune doesn't have her signature hat, instead she's got this weird hair blob that clips through her shoulder. The memory card game part is basically just flipping tiles to see pieces of a static image. You match two tiles, a bit more of a tit gets revealed. Groundbreaking stuff. I spent more time trying to figure out if Nidalee's ear was a glitch or just badly drawn than actually being turned on. The actual sex scene is a looping GIF that looks like it was compressed by sending it through Discord five times. There's a rhythm to it, I guess, a pulsing motion that's meant to be hip thrusting but feels more like the whole image is breathing. You get to pick from three champions, Lux, Nidalee, Miss Fortune, and the "animation" is identical for each, just a different skin slapped on the same awkwardly bobbing torso. At one point, Lux's face just... resets. Her expression goes from this weird grimace to blank for a frame and then back again. My dick couldn't get past the technical debt. The sound is a whole other disaster. A single wet slapping noise on a loop that doesn't sync with the visual movement at all. It's like someone's clapping slowly in another room. You're supposed to be banging Miss Fortune and it sounds like a leaky faucet. I wanted to love this for the sheer absurdity of a LoL parody where you don't even get a fake poro in the background. But it's so barebones it makes a Newgrounds flash game from 2005 look like a AAA experience. Still, I clicked on Nidalee first. So maybe the joke's on me.

• hentai
• lux
• memory game
• parody
• nidalee