My Brothel

My Brothel starts with a funeral and a pair of tits. Your parents got wiped out in some gang attack, and now you're stuck running their old whorehouse with a secretary named Bernadette who has cleavage that could end wars. The game doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is, a messy sim about buying girls and putting them to work while occasionally fighting off thugs who want to smash up your furniture. The world map is surprisingly big for something this janky. You wander around, find new girls to "conquer" or purchase, and bring them back to the brothel where they earn you money. The conquering part is funny because it's basically just clicking through dialogue until someone's clothes fall off. There's this one redhead early on who acts all tough and then five minutes later she's bent over a desk. Character development. The management side is where things get weirdly compelling. You assign rooms, set prices, deal with random events like gang attacks. The combat is terrible, just clicking attack and hoping your numbers are bigger than theirs. But I kept playing anyway. Something about watching the money tick up while Bernadette gives you updates in that dead eyed hentai stare. The art is inconsistent as hell. Some scenes look decent, others look like they were drawn during an earthquake. The writing has that charming broken English quality where you're never quite sure if a line is intentionally funny or just badly translated. "You make my pussy become waterfall" is a real sentence in this game and I think about it more than I should. Wish there was more to do with the girls once you've unlocked them. They just sort of exist as income generators after their initial scenes. But for a free browser game about running a brothel while occasionally shooting gang members, it delivers exactly what it promises. No more, no less.

• porn
• sim
• sex
• brothel
• hentai