Megumi Ball Soiree

The ball bounces wrong and you start over, and that's basically the whole deal with this arcanoid thing. But between the levels there is a photo of an Asian model with huge tits and that's the hook, right? I spent way too long on level seven because the power-up that makes your paddle longer never spawns when you actually need it. The line drawing mechanic feels like something from a flash game circa 2006, and I mean that as both a compliment and an insult. You drag with the mouse to create a temporary wall, the ball hits it, physics do whatever they want. Sometimes the ball clips through the corner of your line and you just sit there watching it fall into the void. Consent is a weird thing to bring up with a game like this, but here we are. The model in the photos, she is real, and I keep thinking about whether she knows her face is attached to a brick breaker clone. Probably yes, probably got paid, but still. It changes how I look at the reward screen. I can't just enjoy the tits without my brain doing ethics homework. That's a me problem, not a game problem, but it's there. One thing I wish was different: the star you have to hit sometimes spawns behind a wall of blocks that are almost impossible to clear without losing a ball. I don't know why I keep playing. Maybe because the photos get progressively more explicit and I'm a simple creature. The smart game tag is generous. There is nothing smart about it. But the arcade loop is tight enough that I lose track of why I clicked play in the first place. The Asian tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. I won't pretend I didn't notice. The game knows what it is, and so do I.

• arcanoid
• smart game
• big tits
• photo
• asian