Plow her mildly

The whole thing is a music video, basically. A succubus with tits like parade floats sings about how you shouldn't just jackhammer your girl. Two little cupid dudes float around, nodding. I watched it three times because the chorus got stuck in my head, not because I was horny. The animation is janky as hell, like someone made it in a weekend with a cracked copy of Flash and a dream. Her mouth doesn't match the words half the time. But the song slaps? It's this weird Eurobeat meets church hymn thing. I caught myself humming it while making coffee. The lyrics are actually instructive. "Sometimes she need more than just rude and hot fuck." No shit. But then the succubus demonstrates, with her fingers, on herself, while the angels hold up little signs with diagrams. It's funny. Genuinely funny. I laughed out loud when one angel pulled out a tiny violin. The whole thing feels like a sex ed video from a parallel universe where demons run the school board. I wish there was more to do. You just watch. No choices, no clicking, nothing. Just the song and the janky animation. For a game about pleasing women, it's weirdly passive. You sit there like a lump while a cartoon demon lectures you. Maybe that's the point. The cupid with the glasses looks like he's judging me personally. I don't know why that turned me on a little. The fashion is terrible, by the way. The succubus wears this cheap red latex thing that looks painted on, and the angels have these stupid little togas. No style. No flair. If you're gonna lecture me about sex, at least dress like you respect yourself. But whatever. The song is still stuck in my head. "Not so fast, not so rough..." Fuck.

• funny
• music
• animation
• humor
• cupid