OnlyClans - v1.0

bro this is the most cursed thing i've clicked on since that time i found a sakura inflation mod for skyrim and i still have nightmares about the physics engine giving up the whole setup is you're some photographer dude rolling into konoha because apparently ninja instagram doesn't pay the bills anymore and these kunoichis need that onlyclans clout. the art is that weird ai generated stuff where hinata's eyes are looking in two different directions like she's tracking a fly and sakura's hair clips through her shoulder if you look too long. but honestly? that jank kinda adds to the experience. it's like watching a trainwreck where everyone has double d's and questionable anatomy. tsunade shows up and her proportions are so absurd i laughed so hard i choked on my drink. 106cm my ass, those things have their own gravitational pull. the dialogue reads like it was translated through google translate, then back through a blender, then through a horny teenager's text messages. ino says something about "gaining the followers for the sexy page" and i lost it completely. the gameplay is just clicking through scenes but there's this one moment with temari that caught me off guard because her expression actually looked... good? for like two seconds before her hand melted into her fan. and don't get me started on boa hancock showing up like she wandered in from a completely different anime. what is she even doing in konoha. the male protag has the personality of wet cardboard but i guess that's not why anyone's here. samui's scenes are weirdly the most coherent like someone on the dev team had a favorite and it shows. tenten is there too i guess, doing whatever tenten does which is apparently also needing onlyclans followers because nobody remembers she exists otherwise. the whole thing crashes if you click too fast during the hinata scene which feels like a metaphor for something but i'm too tired to figure out what.

• parody
• one piece
• tenten
• 2dcg
• samui