King of Porno City: September 2013

The way the girls blink is wrong. Not like, creepy wrong, but off. A single frame, snap shut snap open, no in-between. It’s the first thing I notice because I’m weird about faces, and then the second thing is her tits. Massive, physics doing that thing where they move like water balloons in a zero-g chamber. The animation isn’t smooth, it’s like a flipbook made by someone who only cared about one thing. And honestly? That’s kind of the whole deal here. You start with a blank slate guy, a real nobody, and you click on parts of the city. A club, a dungeon looking place. The loop is fuck, get cash, unlock more places to fuck. The bdsm tag is there but it’s more like, someone told the dev about handcuffs once and they ran with it. There’s a scene in a red room where a girl is tied up but her expression never changes from that default hentai pout. It’s hardcore in the way a brick through a window is hardcore, just blunt force. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out the money system, why some clicks gave more cash. Never did. Then I unlocked a movie theater and the background was just a jpeg of a cinema screen with a lens flare that didn’t move. The non-native English in the menus is charming though, “earn more cash for unlock more new places and stuff.” Yeah, stuff. Got distracted by the character creator for a while. You can make her hair pink. That’s about it. But the jiggle. I keep coming back to the jiggle. It’s so absurd it loops around to being hypnotic. There’s no real game here, it’s a clicking machine wrapped in a thin city map. The replayability is zero unless you, like me, find yourself staring at a badly looped riding animation wondering why the shadow under the bed is just a dark circle that clips through the floor. I closed the tab. Opened it again an hour later. Don’t know why. The blinking. It’s still bothering me.

• hentai
• bdsm
• movie
• hardcore
• porn