Sisters of the Coast 2

The first thing that hits you is the voice acting. It's not good, exactly, but it's committed. The captain keeps asking for things in this flat, insistent tone that somehow loops back around to being hot. Like she's reading a shopping list but the list is just different ways she wants to fuck you. Type "booty" if you get stuck, the game says. I typed it immediately. Not because I was stuck. Just wanted to see what would happen. The 3d models have that specific jank you only get from someone who learned Blender last month and decided to make porn anyway. Respect, honestly. The pirate ship looks like it's made of grey marshmallows. But then you go ashore and there's this tribe sequence that caught me off guard. The way the camera lingers. The sound design gets weirdly good for about forty seconds, wet noises that made me check if I'd left another tab open. Then it's back to the captain's dead eyed stare and her next request. The story is nonsense, obviously. You're a pirate. There's a ship. Sometimes you're on an island with tribal women who have no business being that flexible given the polygon count. The lesbian tag does a lot of heavy lifting here, every interaction is woman on woman with this aggressive, almost clinical directness that I can't decide is a bug or a feature. I keep thinking about the captain's hat. It doesn't move. During anything. That's not a complaint, just an observation that's been living in my head for three days. The adventure tag is doing some work I don't fully understand, you click things and things happen and sometimes those things are sex and sometimes they're just... walking. The game remembers what you did though. Came back to the ship after the beach scene and the captain had new dialogue. Not good dialogue. But new. That's more than I expected from something that looks like it was rendered on a calculator. There's a moment with two tribe members that actually made me put my phone down for a second. Not because it was beautiful. Because it was strange in a way I wasn't ready for. The pacing is all wrong and I think that's why it works.

• ship
• captain
• story
• lesbian
• pirate