Starlet Bang

Six of Nine. I keep saying it in my head like someone with a speech impediment and honestly that about sets the tone for this whole fever dream of a Star Trek parody. It's a pick a move flash game so you already know what you're signing up for, that specific jank where the cursor changes on a hot spot and you click hoping it leads to something obscene. Which it does. Frequently. The version of the Enterprise here has genuinely lost its mind. Spook is gay. Not subtle gay, not coded gay, but full on homo deck gay with a rear rammer machine that I stared at for an uncomfortable amount of time trying to figure out the engineering behind it. Like did he build that himself. Is it standard Starfleet issue. The game does not care and honestly neither should you. Whora is a black woman which feels like the developers just read a list of names and never recovered. Captain Kurt gets an enema scene. I don't even know how to react to that except it happens right after a surprisingly detailed blowjob scene with the Kingon that made me fumble my phone. Almost sent a screenshot to my work group chat by accident because the Discord notification overlapped the browser window. The sex scenes themselves bounce between genuinely amusing and what the fuck. The space pussy box. What is there to say about the space pussy box. It exists and you click it and things occur. Six of Nine herself is blonde and the art is that very specific 2000s hentai flash quality where everyone looks vaguely melted. The doctor scene had me laughing mid stroke which is a weird feeling. Not good for homophobes it claims. Yeah no shit. If Spook getting railed on a special deck triggers you maybe stick to normal porn where everyone's miserable.

• Star Trek
• humor
• choice
• sci-fi
• blonde