Bang City

The first CG you unlock, some broad named Monica who runs a bar or something, her tits practically fall out of the screen. I mean the artist definitely has a type, big ol' anime milkers with those weird permanent erect nipples that poke through every fabric known to man. And Babyface, he's this ex-gangster trying to go clean but the whole city is like a sticky trap. You can't walk two blocks without some corrupt cop or old crew member dragging you back into shit. The RPG bits are super basic, walk around, click on things, the usual. But the combat, man, I don't even know why it's there. It's this weird turn based thing that feels like it was made in RPG Maker by someone who just discovered the software last Tuesday. You punch, they punch, numbers go up. It's not hard, just... there. Taking up space between the sex scenes. Voice acting would've saved some of the dialogue. The writing tries for this gritty noir vibe, "the streets raised me, blood in, blood out," all that jazz, but without any voice work it just sits there on the screen like a text document you're supposed to be horny about. Some lines are so over the top I laughed, and I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intention. There's this one scene where Babyface monologues about revenge while literally standing over a guy he just beat up, and the juxtaposition of that serious text with the goofy pixel sprite just... chef's kiss, but for the wrong reasons. The detective tag is a lie. You don't really investigate anything, you just follow the plot breadcrumbs and occasionally choose who to beat up or fuck next. The MILF characters, and there are several, all kind of blend together after a while. Big tits, vaguely dangerous, connected to the criminal underworld. One of them is your old boss's wife, I think? That scene was hot, don't get me wrong, the CGs are the whole point and they deliver on the explicit front. No mosaics, full penetration, fluids everywhere. But the adventure part feels like a chore you do to get to the next animated still. The gangster plot wants to be a Scorsese film but it's more like a porno parody that forgot it was supposed to be a parody. I wish the city felt more alive, more like a place you could get lost in instead of a series of rooms with people waiting to give you a quest or a blowjob. The soundtrack is just some generic lo-fi beats that loop too quickly, I muted it after fifteen minutes and put on my own playlist, which honestly improved the whole experience. Made the bloody revenge parts feel more cinematic than they had any right to be.

• adventure
• detective
• big tits
• gangster
• rpg