High School GAMES
Everything High School in one place. Choose from 3 games and jump straight in.
- principal▶ INSERT COIN
My Whorey Principal
The detention slip said "see me after class" but the handwriting was all wrong, loopy and too big, like someone wrote it with their left hand while thinking about something else. That's the whole game really. Jonathan gets pulled into Mrs. Richards' office and the door locks with that little click sound, and then it's just a series of choices about how far you push the undress meter before she notices the phone recording. I spent way too long on the bra strap mini game. Not because it's hard, it's not, but because the animation loops in this weird hypnotic way where the fabric digs into her shoulder and you can almost feel the elastic snap. The sex tape mechanic is basically a point system, every time you get her to say something compromising you earn another clip for the folder, and the folder icon sits there in the corner like a little blackmail shrine. Very high school. The torture tag is misleading. There's no pain, no bondage, just psychological pressure. You threaten to send the video to the school board, she unbuttons one more button. You mention her husband, she adjusts her skirt. It's like playing chicken with a woman who's already decided she wants to lose but needs you to force the issue. The principal character model has these ridiculous proportions, tits like parade floats, but her face stays weirdly calm the whole time, like she's grading papers in her head. Wish the student character had more dialogue options beyond "yes ma'am" and "keep going." And the ending just kind of stops, no big payoff, just a black screen with a timestamp. But I guess that's the point. The tape exists. You made it. What else is there to say?
- xxx game▶ INSERT COIN
1HG: A Schoolboy Punch
The thing about OneHandGames is they don't pretend. You load up A Schoolboy Crush and right away the font is wrong, the buttons are slightly misaligned, and the blonde girl's sprite has this weird floating quality like she's not quite standing on the floor. It's perfect. This is the third one, after Hot Summer Nights and A Schoolgirl Fantasy, and you can tell the creator just kept building on the same rickety framework because why fix what's already charmingly broken. I spent twenty minutes stuck on a dialogue loop with the math teacher because I kept picking the obviously wrong answer just to see her get flustered. The writing has this deadpan delivery that makes the explicit scenes hit different. Not polished. Not trying to be sexy in that overproduced way. Just... direct. There's a scene with the blonde classmate behind the gym that uses maybe three animation frames total and somehow it's more engaging than games with full motion capture. The RPG elements are barely there. You walk around the high school, talk to people, unlock scenes. That's it. The achievement tracking is weirdly satisfying though. Each scene unlock feels like finding a crumpled note in a locker. The sound design is basically nonexistent except for this one looping track that I swear is just a slowed down version of something from an old Newgrounds flash game. After a while it becomes hypnotic. Or maybe that's just what happens when you're clicking through dialogue about after school tutoring that very clearly isn't about tutoring. The game knows what it is. It doesn't try to be deep or meaningful or even particularly well made. There's a charm in that. A kind of honesty. The blonde character's storyline in particular has this weirdly sweet undertone beneath all the explicit content, like the writer accidentally wrote a romance while trying to write porn. Or maybe I'm reading too much into a game where you can literally just replay scenes from a menu once you've unlocked them. The menu is ugly by the way. I love it.
- romance▶ INSERT COIN
Offcuts v0.3.1
So Offcuts, right. The renders are janky sometimes, like you can tell exactly which Daz3D asset pack got raided for the school backgrounds, and there’s this one teacher character whose neck seems to disconnect from her shoulders if you look too long. I couldn’t unsee it. But Christ, the tension. You’re this guy, back in your shitty hometown, and the plot isn’t just a flimsy excuse to get your dick wet. It’s got this undercurrent of actual danger. There’s a girl from your past, she finds you working at some convenience store in the second chapter, and the way the dialogue is written you genuinely don’t know if she’s going to suck you off behind the dumpster or have her new boyfriend jump you. The game lets you pick and the wrong choice isn’t just a polite rejection. The anal scene you can unlock if you push her buttons the right way feels earned in a grimy sort of way, not just a checkbox. The uniform stays on, bunched up, which is a detail I appreciated way more than I should. The mobile port is a fucking mess though, let’s be real. Tried it on my phone during a break and the text boxes cut off half the 3DCG blowjob scene, so you just see her head bobbing into a UI element. Stick to a browser. Also I wish the sound design was anything. It’s silent as a tomb except for some royalty free track that loops into madness. But that one scene with the childhood friend, the one who’s clearly unhinged, when she finally corners you in the empty classroom... the silence almost makes it creepier. Like you’re holding your breath. Then the scene triggers and it’s pure filth. Worth the neck-breaking teacher models. Barely.