Planning GAMES
Your Planning shortlist: 4 games to enjoy now, sorted so the best ones show up first.
- simulator▶ INSERT COIN
The Fucky-fucky Pit 2.2
The whole thing runs on a planning screen that looks like a spreadsheet had a mental breakdown. You’re not fucking anyone, not directly. You’re the manager, which means you stare at a grid of rooms and time slots, dragging little icons around while a cash counter ticks up. It’s basically a logistics puzzle wrapped in hentai aesthetics, and honestly the interface is so barebones it feels like someone coded it during a lunch break. The women have these absurdly proportioned bodies, tits that defy physics in that specific way only browser games can achieve, and the customers are just silhouettes with throbbing cocks that appear in the room slots like appointment reminders. I spent twenty minutes optimizing my rotation schedule before I realized I was treating it like a Factorio production line. That’s the weird headspace this thing puts you in. You’re calculating throughput of semen while a pixelated woman with beachball breasts gets railed in room three, and the game is just... beeping at you about a missed slot in room two. The disconnect is almost artistic. There’s a moment where you unlock a new position, some variant of doggy style that increases customer satisfaction by 15%, and you feel genuine business owner pride. Then you remember what you’re actually watching and question your life choices. The bug fixes they mention in the patch notes? Still plenty of jank. Sometimes a character will freeze mid thrust, stuck in a loop like a broken GIF from 2004. It’s not polished, it’s not trying to be, and that’s almost refreshing in a landscape of overproduced 3D visual novels that take themselves too seriously. This one knows it’s a degenerate time management sim. The sound design is just... absent. Completely silent except for some generic moaning loop that cuts in and out. I wish there was more variety in the customer types, but there won’t be. The whole thing exists in this strange liminal space between idle clicker and hardcore porn, and I can’t stop checking my revenue per minute.
- angel▶ INSERT COIN
1HG: Cold Winter Days
The whole thing feels like someone left their sketchbook open and you're peeking at the margins. Not in a bad way. One Hand Games has this thing where the jank is the point, the deliberate unpolish that makes you feel like you found a cursed VHS tape under a floorboard. This one picks up David and Melissa again, which if you played Hot Summer Nights you know what you're getting into. That blonde angel thing Melissa has going on isn't just a costume, it's the whole vibe, this supernatural glow around a romance that shouldn't work but does. I spent way too long on the planning screen. Not because it's deep, but because my brain kept short circuiting. You're supposed to be mapping out your week or whatever, but the one hand game tag isn't lying. The cursor hovered over Melissa's dialogue options and I just sat there like an idiot, completely forgetting what I was doing. There's this moment where she tilts her head and the light catches her hair and suddenly you're not thinking about mechanics anymore. The game knows. It absolutely knows what it's doing. Wish there was more of the eldritch stuff hinted at in earlier games. The angel thing is hot but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something with too many eyes to crawl out of the text box. Never happens. Maybe that's the real horror, the anticipation that never pays off. Like reading the King in Yellow and only getting the first act. Still, the way Melissa's dialogue loops back on itself when you pick the wrong choice, that stuttering repetition, that's some Ligotti level dread right there. Or maybe I'm just horny and overthinking it. The bandcamp page has the rest of the series if you need context but honestly you can jump in blind and figure it out. Just don't expect closure.
- planning▶ INSERT COIN
Advanced Rogue Intelligence Attack
She’s got this way of arching her back right when the cockpit lights flicker, like the ship’s power grid is synced to her spine. First time I saw Mira do that, half her flight suit already peeled down and the nav console beeping some proximity alert I ignored, I knew the tutorial was just foreplay. The game doesn’t pretend otherwise. You’re not some tactical genius, you’re a handler with a very specific training regimen. Feed them, drill them in simulators, watch their stats tick up, then get them into your quarters while the star map blinks with enemy blips you’ll deal with later. Or never. The battle planning is there, sure, a whole node based map with fleet positioning and resource drains, but I spent three cycles just cycling through the “relaxation” dialogue trees with the redhead engineer because her post workout animation has this little stumble that feels almost accidental. The platforming sections though. Why. You’re hopping between floating debris in a spacesuit that handles like a brick wrapped in molasses, and the jump timing is tied to some stamina meter that also governs how long you can, uh, perform during the intimate scenes. So if you’ve been grinding agility drills with the pilot girl, she’ll nail a double jump across a chasm but then in the bunk she’s got the endurance of a marathon runner. It’s a weirdly interconnected system that nobody asked for. I respect the audacity even if the hitboxes on those asteroid chunks are pure fiction. Got stuck on a tutorial jump for twenty minutes while the game kept hinting I should “visit the med bay for recovery,” which is just a thinly veiled invitation to another scene with the medic who has this cold stethoscope kink that the writing treats like a personality. The team dynamic is where it gets genuinely interesting, almost by mistake. You’re assembling a crew, and their synergy in combat affects how quickly they unlock new positions back on the ship. The brash pilot and the shy comms officer have a rivalry that plays out in stat bonuses, but also in this one threesome scene that triggers if you neglect the engineer for too long. Jealousy as a game mechanic. The art is deliberately rough, like someone sketched it on a napkin and then colored it with whatever markers were still wet, but that jank actually helps sell the sleazy charm. The sound design is mostly just synth loops and some very enthusiastic voice work that clips the mic constantly. I wish the exploration wasn’t so gated behind the combat, because the space sectors have these little lore snippets about a galactic war I genuinely wanted to read, but you can’t access half of them without grinding ship upgrades through battles that feel like a spreadsheet with lasers. The choice system is mostly an illusion, you’ll see all the content eventually if you just keep clicking through the same three hub areas, but the illusion is a comfortable one. Like a choose your own adventure book where every path leads to someone taking off their top.
- hentai▶ INSERT COIN
Provocative RPG Swim Crew
You find yourself in charge of a swimming coach’s intense training camp where three young, insanely hot girls are counting on you to whip them into shape before the big contest. They’re not just any contestants - each girl is dripping with raw potential and curves that won’t quit. You get 20 days to fine-tune their stamina, strength, and speed. Your job isn’t just about physical training, because keeping an eye on their mood swings and health is crucial. Every day brings new challenges - should you push harder or give them time to recover? The stakes are high, and your choices shape whether they become champions or crack under pressure. But this game isn’t just about training and tactics, there’s a darker, naughtier side waiting to unfold. If you play your cards right, you might find yourself tangled up in steamy encounters with all three. The anime-style visuals bring every curve and drop of sweat to life, making every interaction feel raw and electric. Plan their training, watch their bodies transform, and indulge in the erotic payoff. Will you build champions or break hearts? The clock is ticking, and the heat is rising. Jump in and start molding these sexy swimmers into unstoppable forces of nature.