Wonder Female Assfucking Bang

I dunno what I expected from a game called something like "Wonder Womb Raider" or whatever the fuck it is. The title screen is just a jpeg of Gal Gadot that's been stretched like taffy and her face is doing this uncanny valley thing where one eye is bigger than the other. Already off to a banger start. So the whole plot, if you can call it that, is you're some schlub who's been cranking it to Wonder Woman posters and then poof, she's just in your room. No magic lasso, no invisible jet, just standing there with her tits out looking confused. The dialogue is something else. She says "Oh brave mortal, I have sensed your... desires" and then immediately bends over a cardboard box that's just labeled "BOX" in Arial font. The animation for the anal scene is like watching two action figures being smashed together by a toddler. There's this one frame where her spine does a full 90 degree turn that would kill a real person instantly. Her ass cheeks clip through each other constantly and the sound effects are just stock squelching noises that loop every three seconds. You can click on her left nipple and it honks. I'm not joking, it makes a car horn sound. I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my drink. The brunette tag is doing some heavy lifting because her hair color changes between scenes from black to brown to this weird purple shade. The big tits physics are set to maximum jello mode, they keep vibrating even when she's standing perfectly still. At one point I clicked the "hard sex" button and the whole screen just shook violently for five seconds while a MIDI version of the Wonder Woman theme played backwards. I think the game crashed after that but honestly it might have been a feature. The cumshot effect is just a white circle that slowly expands from the center of the screen until it covers everything. Real artistic vision there. For improvements, they should add a mode where you can throw her tiara like a frisbee and it just decapitates random civilians walking by outside the window. Or maybe a DLC where Batman shows up and just stares at you disapprovingly while you try to explain the situation. The game's a beautiful disaster and I respect the hustle of whoever slapped this together in what I assume was a single afternoon fueled by energy drinks and poor life choices.

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