The Rise of Bhaal

The centaur girl’s tits bounce with this weird, janky physics that’s somehow hotter than the polished stuff you see in AAA games. You know what I mean? Like when something’s so unpolished it loops back around to being perfect. The Unity engine is doing some heavy lifting here, or maybe not heavy enough, because the animations have that stiff, keyframe only look where limbs snap into place instead of moving. It’s a topdown adventure RPG thing with all the mythological creatures you’d expect, minotaurs and harpies and whatever, but the real star is how the dialogue just throws you into sex scenes without much buildup. One minute you’re walking through a forest with placeholder looking trees, next minute a nymph is riding you and the sound effects are just... stock. Like I swear I heard the same wet slap noise from some free sound pack I downloaded for a game jam back in 2016. The combat is basic, click to attack, numbers pop up, but who cares. You’re here for the hentai scenes and they deliver in that rough, almost prototype way. There’s this one part with a lamia where her tail wraps around the player character and the collision detection is so off that half her body clips through the ground. Still fapped though. The fantasy setting is just an excuse to chain together encounters, and honestly the writing reads like someone ran mythology through Google Translate a few times. Medusa shows up and her snakes are just static meshes that don’t move, which is a shame because imagine if they writhed during the blowjob scene. Missed opportunity. Wish the inventory system wasn’t so clunky, you pick up some magic potion or whatever and it takes three clicks to use it. The map is confusing too, got lost in the same forest area for ten minutes because every screen looks identical. But then you stumble into a scene with a siren and forget about navigation entirely. The game knows what it is, a fap delivery system wrapped in RPG clothes, and the jank becomes part of the charm. Or maybe I’m just coping because I finished the whole thing in one sitting. The final boss is a dragon girl and the climax animation literally freezes for a second before looping. Chef’s kiss.

• hentai
• adventure
• myth
• rpg
• topdown