Street Brawlers: Adult Playground Battle 8.4

The sprites are ugly as sin. Chun Li's face looks like someone described her to an AI that only understood "thighs" and "angry". I spent twenty minutes just laughing at Juri's broken walk cycle before I even clicked a dialogue option. Then I clicked a dialogue option and Mai Shiranui is suddenly giving my guy a footjob under the school desk while the teacher drones on about... I dunno, math? It's a crossover mess where you're a new student with some vague "superpower" that's basically just a cock bigger than the concept of loyalty. The turn based combat is there. It exists. You pick "Punch" or "Seduce" and the "Seduce" moves are just stripping animations that freeze for five seconds. There's a moment where Cammy White reverses your attempt and suddenly you're the one in a BDSM scenario, which I didn't see coming at all. That was honestly the high point, this weird female domination twist that the description calls a "plot twist" but it's really just a horny trap for people who mash buttons. The game has no plot, it has a series of increasingly unlikely sex acts loosely connected by a school hallway. Handholding is a tag. I saw that. Handholding is there, right before a handjob, like some kind of romantic appetizer the devs forgot to animate fully. The 3DCG looks like someone learned Blender two weeks ago, but the jank is so consistent it becomes charming. Creampies are just a white texture that clips through the model, but at this point I was rooting for it. You can romance Chun Li by buying her a sex toy from the item shop. I am not making this up. The shopkeeper is Juri Han and she sells you the toy with a smile that promises violence. I never got the violence. I got an exhibitionism scene on a rooftop that made zero sense. This whole thing is a beautiful disaster. I think I'm still playing it.

• milf
• king of fighters
• street fighter
• fantasy
• footjob