Candy Supermarket - Smores

You know that feeling when you're on the train, phone in one hand, trying to look normal while the screen shows something absolutely deranged? That's the Candy Shop. Not a shop, not candy, just a girl made of marshmallow and the weirdest citation I've seen in a porn game. "Last night I dreamed I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone." Okay, sure. The whole thing is you build a teen girl from scratch but the parts are sticky and soft and you can poke them. There's a torture tag which sounds worse than it is, it's more like teasing the marshmallow until it squishes. I kept thinking about the texture, like how a real marshmallow gets all gummy under your nail. The humor tag is doing heavy lifting because the dialogue is stupid funny, like someone wrote it after eating too much sugar and forgetting how anatomy works. You can stretch her arms or make her tits bigger by pulling, and she giggles but it's not creepy, it's just dumb. I spent way too long on the hair. You can twist it into candy canes. Then I accidentally reset the whole thing by clicking the wrong button and had to start over, which made me unreasonably angry for a game about marshmallow girls. The community mods are wild. Someone made a version where the girl is made of those sour gummy worms and the torture is just you biting the worms off one by one. Another one replaces the background with a dentist's office. I don't know why that's hot but it is. The base game is short, maybe five minutes if you rush, but the mods add weird replay value. Also the sound effects are just wet squelches that made me turn my phone volume down on the bus. One guy in the comments said it reminded him of his ex's thighs, which I think about more than I should. The torture tag is misleading. It's not pain, it's just poking and pulling until she melts a little. Then you can reshape her. The teen girl thing is there but honestly she looks more like a blob with a face until you get the proportions right. I never figured out the candy shop part, there's no shop, no money, just a void and a marshmallow girl. Maybe the shop is a metaphor. Or maybe the dev forgot to add it. Either way, I came, I squished, I missed my stop.

• funny
• hentai
• tortue
• teen girl
• candy shop