Crossing Bowls Naughty Cartoons

The coin slides under the middle cup and I swear I'm tracking it perfectly, but then my eyes drift to the background art. That's the real trick here, isn't it? Not the shell game itself but what happens when you win. Or lose. Both outcomes work somehow, which is rare for these kinds of things. Usually you get punished for failure but here the "punishment" looks suspiciously like a reward. Leela's mouth doing things that would make a geometry textbook blush. The Futurama thing threw me at first. Like, why? But then you see Fry's stupid hair poking into frame during the threesome scene and it clicks. This is someone's very specific fantasy rendered with the artistic polish of a Newgrounds flash game from 2005. The animation loops are choppy in a way that circles back around to charming. Mouth movements don't quite sync with the implied action but honestly that adds something. A kind of uncanny valley effect that makes the whole thing dirtier than if it were smooth. Sound design is where my brain short circuits. There's this wet squelching noise during the oral segments that I can't decide is terrible or genius. It loops every 3 seconds. Just the same sample over and over. My neighbor probably thinks I'm watching someone unclog a drain. The background music is this generic carnival tune that gets stuck in your head against your will. I caught myself humming it at the grocery store and had to stop immediately. The king of the hill mechanic, where you're trying to track which cup hides the coin, gets genuinely difficult around round five. Not because the game is clever but because the cups move at this weird stuttery framerate that makes tracking impossible. You're basically guessing. Which means you're seeing the fail state animations more often than not. Maybe that's intentional? The anal scene unlocks after three consecutive wins and I still haven't seen it. Not for lack of trying. The threesome content is easier to access, just lose twice in a row and suddenly everyone's very friendly. Very, very friendly. Positions that would require at least two people to be double jointed. I respect the ambition even if the execution looks like someone animated it using a trackpad.

• anal
• futurama
• threesome
• guess game
• oral