Burns Mansion v0.16.0

Look, I'm not gonna pretend this isn't what it is. You're Mr. Burns' secret relative, some unpaid intern with zero dignity, and your job is to... help the family business? Sure. That's what we're calling it. The whole thing runs on this weird point and click system where you wander around Springfield locations that look like someone traced over actual Simpsons screenshots but then got distracted halfway through. The art is deliberately janky, like a bootleg t-shirt you'd buy outside a concert, and honestly that's part of the charm. Or maybe I'm just coping. Marge's proportions are absolutely ridiculous. Like someone took the already exaggerated cartoon design and said "what if we just... more?" Her ass has its own gravitational pull at this point. Lisa's there too, which made me feel genuinely uncomfortable until I remembered this is a parody game and I should probably stop overthinking things. The dialogue tries way too hard to be funny and sometimes it actually lands, mostly when it's not trying. There's this one scene where Burns gives you a motivational speech about corporate synergy while you're literally just trying to get into Marge's house that had me staring at the screen like I was watching a car crash. The sandbox elements are there I guess, you click around, things unlock, you figure out what the game wants you to do next. Sometimes it's not clear at all and you just click everything like a confused woodpecker until something happens. The sex scenes are... there. They exist. The animation is minimal, mostly just sliding images around, but the absurdity of the whole premise carries it further than it deserves. I kept playing way longer than I planned and I'm not proud of that. The humor is the actual selling point here, not the lewd stuff, which feels backwards for a game where you can see Marge Simpson's massive pixelated tits. Actually no, maybe that's exactly right. I don't know anymore.

• milf
• adventure
• big ass
• humor
• sex