Rump Call Ep. 16 New Years Rave

I love how this thing just... exists. No fancy menu, no voice acting, no pretentious lore about why Jake needs to get laid on New Year's. It's basically a horny flipbook where the art looks like someone drew it on a napkin at the actual rave. And honestly? That's the whole charm. You're Jake. Your wingman Calvin is probably on something. There's a girl with a bottle and a girl on the left and you just... pick. That's it. The dialogue is pure monkey brain energy - "he he" is literally in the description and I respect the commitment. First try I went for the bottle girl because I have a type and the sequence that follows is this rapid-fire, zero-to-hero seduction that makes no sense. One second you're chatting, next second clothes evaporate like they were never rigged properly, and then you're bending her over while the screen does this weird zoom thing. The sex scene has the anatomical accuracy of a balloon animal but somehow that makes it hotter? Like when you're drunk and everything's blurry and great. My only beef - and I'm still mad - is the left girl's route. Clicked her expecting something different, maybe some tsundere energy, but the game just gives you the exact same animation loop with a slightly different hair color pasted on. Felt like ordering a deluxe pizza and getting the same cheese slice with one pepper moved. The drug mechanics are just flavor text, don't expect Disco Elysium stat checks. Though there's this one frame where Jake's eyes go full hentai protagonist mode and I screenshot it for my collection of "images that precede unfortunate events." It's broken in ways that make you laugh and horny in ways that make you question your standards. Exactly what a New Year's rave should be. Nobody remembers the details anyway.

• party
• dating
• drunk
• seduce
• humor