SEP-Mia Poker

The whole thing plays like somebody coded it during a power outage. Mia, the sister in law, she stands there with this frozen expression that's supposed to be shy but looks more like she just smelled something off. The dialog boxes pop up with typos that somehow make the situation more ridiculous - "embarrassingly explains" is actually how they describe her talking about a poker chip stuck up her ass. I couldn't stop laughing at the wrong moments. Graphics are real model photos but they're compressed to hell, like someone ran them through a JPEG grinder from 2003. Her different states - clothed, topless, whatever - they don't transition smooth at all. One click she's smirking with cards, next click suddenly her tits are out and the lighting changed completely. The poker part uses Texas Holdem rules but the AI opponent plays like it learned strategy from a fortune cookie. Sometimes she folds with pocket aces, other times she goes all in with a 7-2 offsuit. Makes no goddamn sense. I won a hand and the next photo loaded halfway and stuck there, her face half rendered while the text below kept going about how wet she was getting. The writing though, I gotta admit the setup is so stupid it circles back to entertaining. She actually says seeing you naked should make her wet enough for the chip to fall out on its own. That's medical advice from a porn script and I respect the commitment to the bit. But then the game forgets its own premise midway through. Where's the chip? Did it fall out? We just keep playing cards and she keeps getting nakeder and nobody mentions the original problem again. Like the writer had a deadline or got distracted. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the difficulty setting does anything. Three rounds in and she just kept losing on purpose I swear, then suddenly cleaned me out in two hands. The site URL shows up at the bottom like it's 2005 and I'm on Newgrounds. At one point I clicked something and the whole browser tab went white for a solid minute. When it came back she was in a different pose entirely and I'd apparently won clothes from her? I dunno. The sound doesn't work. Not that it's bugged, there just isn't any. Complete silence except my own confused breathing.

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