The Escort

So this game is about being an escort. Not like the car, the other kind. You know. And I'm sitting there clicking through dialogue thinking okay, where's the catch. The art is... it's there. The character designs are these exaggerated balloon figures, the kind where you wonder about spine health. Big tits tag earned, no question. But the whole thing has this weird energy like someone drew it on a napkin during a boring meeting and then just said fuck it, ship it. The humor is actually what kept me clicking. The main character has this deadpan thing going on. There's a scene where a client asks for something ridiculous and the dialogue options are all variations of "seriously?" and I laughed. Actual laugh, not the nose exhale. The escort scenarios get weird fast. One moment you're having normal conversation, next thing there's a CG hentai scene that pops up with zero transition like a jumpscare but with more fluids. The relationship building between jobs is... I mean it's there. Sort of. You talk to people between appointments and sometimes they remember things you said. Sometimes they don't. I had this one repeat client who forgot my name three times but remembered I liked cats. What does that mean. The visual novel part is bare bones. Choices matter but not in a deep way, more like "do you want scene A or scene B" and scene B is always weirder. I picked what I thought was the boring safe option once and ended up in a situation involving a lampshade. Don't ask. The game never explains itself and I respect that in a twisted way. It just throws you into these escort jobs and watches you flail. I wish the text didn't have typos. Not charming ones, just regular misspelled words that pull you out of it. Small thing but it bugged me the whole time. The CG scenes are okay if you're into that specific art style where everyone looks slightly melted. The animations are... wait there aren't any. Static images. You get what you get. For a game about intimacy it feels very still sometimes. Like everyone's holding their breath. Maybe that's the point. Probably not though.

• visual novel
• cg hentai
• big boobs
• humor
• big tits