4-Side Squeezed

That blonde on the title screen, covered in ink. Not the delicate little butterfly tramp stamp either, full sleeve stuff, dark lines crawling up her neck. You don't see that much in these games, usually it's all clean skin and generic pretty faces. This one looks like she'd key your car and then ask for a light. The whole thing runs on this weird arcanoid logic where you're not bouncing anything, you're building walls out of video blocks to trap a metal ball that wants to fall off the bottom. Click cells, make blocks, stop the ball. Simple until it isn't. Level three and my hands are already stupid. The ball drops faster than you think, and the blocks don't always place where you want, especially when you're trying to watch her pull her top off at the same time. The game knows what it's doing, putting the strip tease right there in the corner while you're supposed to be calculating angles. By level five she's down to lacy black things and I've lost three times because I forgot to block the left side. The real model thing works here, she's not some rendered fantasy, she's got that bored look like she's waiting for a bus while slowly unhooking her bra. The tattoos make it feel dirtier somehow, more specific. Like you're watching an actual person, not a concept. The ball physics get weird sometimes, bouncing off invisible corners. And why does the video block sometimes just not appear when you click? Drove me nuts on level seven when she was finally showing everything and I had to restart because the game ate my input. But then level eight loads and she's got this smirk and her hand is sliding down and suddenly I don't care about the jank anymore. The whole thing is held together with tape and horny energy. Ten levels total, and by the end you've seen everything she's got, every tattoo, every curve. The game doesn't pretend to be anything else. Just you, a falling ball, and a woman who looks like she wandered out of a biker bar into your browser.

• blonde
• strip
• arcanoid
• tattoo
• striptease