Pharah and Reinhardt v1.0

I don't know what I expected from a game that smashes together Overwatch and Warcraft characters like a kid with action figures, but here we are. Garrosh Hellscream is there. Why is Garrosh there. His big green orc energy just radiates off the screen, and the artist gave him a cock that would make Rein jealous, which is saying something because Reinhardt's whole deal here is basically being a slab of meat with a hammer. The sound design is... a choice. Every wet slap echoes like someone dropped a raw chicken in a cave. Pharah's tits are the real protagonist though. Massive, with areolas the size of coasters, and they bounce with this weird physics that feels wrong but also exactly right for a game where Jaina Proudmoore shows up for no reason with her cleavage doing most of the emotional heavy lifting. I spent way too long just rotating the camera during the Reinhardt scene, trying to get the angle where her thighs squish against his armor just right. The big thigh tag is not lying. They're like tree trunks wrapped in spandex and I'm not complaining. Actually I am complaining because the Garrosh segment glitched out halfway through and his dick just kept going. Like clipping through Pharah's model into the void while the moaning track looped. Peak cinema honestly. The whole thing feels like someone's fever dream saved as a.swf file from 2009, and I mean that as the highest compliment. The Jaina cameo makes zero sense lorewise but watching her get railed by an orc while Pharah watches is the kind of crossover event Blizzard is too cowardly to give us. The game doesn't even try to explain why these characters are in the same room. Respect.

• overwatch
• orc (world of warcraft)
• jaina proudmoore
• big cleavage
• world of warcraft