Formula Zero v0.01a

I fired this up expecting, I dunno, Mario Kart with tits. What I got was... a lot of talking. Like, a LOT. And honestly? The racing bits are kind of ass. The karts feel like they're sliding on butter and the AI rubberbands so hard it'll give you whiplash. I lost a race in the rain because my driver kept spinning out on a straight. A straight! I nearly closed the tab right there. But then the twins showed up. Blonde, stacked, and absolutely insufferable in that way that makes your pants tight. They corner you in the garage after a shit practice session and start this whole teasing routine, finishing each other's sentences while their tits are practically spilling out of their fireproofs. The 3DCG is rough around the edges, don't get me wrong, but the way the light catches the sweat on their collarbones? Fuck. There's a scene where one distracts the crew chief while the other drops to her knees in the trailer, and the sound design is just... wet. Sloppy. The kind of blowjob audio that makes you forget you're looking at slightly dead-eyed character models. The plot is some nonsense about a washed up karting prodigy joining a backmarker Formula Junior team. The team owner is a brunette MILF with a chest that defies physics and a tragic backstory she won't shut up about. I skipped most of her dialogue. I was there for the twins. But then a weird thing happened. I found myself actually reading the rivalry with the smug teammate. The game made me choose between sabotaging his car to get ahead or taking the high road. I sabotaged him, obviously. The next race, my engine blew up. Karma, I guess. Or just bad coding. I couldn't tell. I still can't decide if the game is a broken racing sim with porn bolted on, or a surprisingly engaging VN with a broken racing sim bolted on. The sex scenes are hot in a trashy, late-night Cinemax way. The sports part is a disaster. I'm going to go play another round. For the twins. Definitely not to see if the MILF ever stops crying about the old days.

• sport
• blowjob
• milf
• big tits
• romance