Summoners Quest Ch.9

The loading screen sits there like a half finished spreadsheet and I'm already thinking about patch notes for a game that will never get them. Summoners Quest, right, the follow up where you finally get both Vi and Jinx in one room. Not exactly a visual novel with branching paths that matter, more like a slideshow where the next button is doing all the heavy lifting. And the art, oh boy, it's got that specific crusty look, like someone traced over a LoL screenshot in MS Paint and then added cum. Which, for this site, is basically a seal of quality. So the whole thing is you're some summoner guy, and Vi shows up first. Her tits are massive, like they forgot how anatomy works but remembered the assignment was big cock energy. Then Jinx pops in, all chaotic neutral with her pigtails and that grin. The threesome scene, if you can call it that, plays out with zero pacing. One minute you're talking, next minute everyone's naked and the sound effects are just... missing. There's a button for the cumshot and it just loops the same frame like a broken gif. I spent way too long clicking it just to see if anything would change. It didn't. What lingers is the weird disconnect. The dialogue tries to be funny, Jinx says something about explosions, but the text box is so small and the font is Comic Sans level bad. I kept thinking about how the first part of this series probably had the same issue. Nobody's fixing that. The game doesn't want you to feel anything except a vague sense of accomplishment for clicking through to the end. And maybe that's the whole genre in a nutshell, a data point on the curve of increasingly lazy porn games. Big cock tag checks out though, I'll give them that.

• league of legends
• jinx
• big cock
• quest
• girls