Fucksluts are us

Got this visual novel thing, right, Final Fantasy parody but the art looks like someone drew it on a napkin in a hurry. Deliberately unpolished, like the title says. Yuna's telling her pimp dad about her night, how she pulled in 3000 bucks. The whole setup is so absurd I couldn't stop clicking. The dialogue choices are weirdly specific. You pick how she describes each client, and the dad reacts. One guy wanted her to dress up like a chocobo. Not kidding. The game just drops that on you and moves on like it's normal. The rough sex scenes are there but the janky art makes them almost comical. Almost. Then suddenly there's this zoophilia tag moment with some creature that's supposed to be a tonberry but looks more like a melted potato. I laughed. Then I felt weird about laughing. The humor lands best when it's not trying. Yuna's deadpan delivery about some dude who cried afterwards. The pimp dad taking notes like it's a business meeting. There's this one branch where you can exaggerate everything and the dad just nods sagely. No payoff, no joke, just a nod. That's the whole bit. I kept replaying to see if different choices actually matter. They sort of don't, but also they do? The endings are all basically the same but the journey there gets progressively more unhinged. Forgot to mention the visual novel part is barely interactive. Mostly clicking through text. The pimp mechanic isn't really a mechanic, you just pick dialogue options. Sometimes the game forgets what you picked two screens ago and contradicts itself. Yuna will say a client was gentle then two lines later describe bruises. Maybe that's intentional given the whole unreliable narrator thing. Probably not though. The whole thing runs in browser and crashed my phone once when I tried to screenshot a particularly ridiculous line about a moogle. Worth it.

• hentai
• final fantasy
• pimp
• visual novel
• humor