Tarzan GAMES
Looking for Tarzan? Here are 3 free Tarzan games you can open instantly, no download needed.
- bikini▶ INSERT COIN
Jungle blonde
You ever read a Tarzan comic and think, yeah, but what if the vine swinging was just foreplay? That's Betty Brickhouse. She's this blonde bombshell in a leopard print bikini that's basically body paint with ambition, flying through the jungle. And JD, this Tarzan knockoff with a permanent squint, is on her tail. The whole thing has that vibe of a comic you'd find on a sketchy site at 2 AM, the kind where the art looks like it was drawn with a single minded focus and absolutely no time spent on backgrounds. The jungle is just green smudges. Who cares. The strip down happens fast. JD catches her, and there's no dialogue, no "me Tarzan, you confused," just grunts and the sound of a bikini top snapping. The sex scenes are the main course, obviously, and they cycle through positions with the mechanical dedication of a flipbook. There's one where she's bent over a log that's so conveniently placed it's almost a character itself. The whole thing is crude, the lines are thick, the anatomy goes a bit rubbery when things get intense. But it knows what it is. It's a delivery system for one thing, and it delivers with the subtlety of a coconut to the head. The sweat drops are drawn with the same weight as the jungle rain, which is a weirdly artistic choice I can't stop thinking about. Then JD finishes, lights up a cigarette, and swings off into the canopy like he just clocked out of a shift. That's it. No cuddling, no vine-sharing. The post nut clarity must have hit him mid air. And then, the real star arrives. A chimpanzee. He pops up, makes the most unambiguously lewd gesture at Betty, and the comic ends. It's a punchline that comes out of nowhere and it's the funniest, most honest part of the whole thing. The game is basically that chimp's gesture, digitized. It's a messy, horny, single serving of a story that doesn't pretend to be anything else. I just wish the bikini stayed on a bit longer, the tease was the best part and it was over in three panels.
- humor▶ INSERT COIN
Brickhouse Betty: Damsel in dis Sundress
You ever play something that feels like it was drawn on a napkin during a lunch break? That's Brickhouse Betty. The whole thing is this weird black and white sketchy mess, like someone discovered the pencil tool and just went with it. Betty herself has these ridiculous proportions, tits that defy physics even in a cartoon, and the whole thing has this strange noir setup that doesn't make any sense. She's been kidnapped by Slappy, who I guess is some kind of villain, and Tarzan shows up to rescue her. Tarzan. In what looks like a 1940s detective setting. Nobody questions this. The sex scene is the whole point, obviously. After Tarzan does whatever he does to save her, Betty rewards him with what the description calls her "sweet and juicy pussy." And look, the animation is crude as hell, but there's something about how unpolished it is that makes it weirdly hot. Like finding a dirty doodle in a notebook. The way Betty's exaggerated body moves, the complete lack of shame in how it's presented. The sound effects are basically nonexistent except for some wet noises that sound like someone squishing fruit. It's so bad it circles back around to being effective. I wish there was more to the adventure part. You click a couple things, Tarzan punches Slappy, and then it's straight to the reward. The humor tag is doing some heavy lifting here because the whole premise is so absurd you can't help but laugh. Slappy's design is just some guy in a hat. Why is he called Slappy? Nobody knows. The whole thing runs in browser and feels like it was made in an afternoon by someone who really, really wanted to draw Betty getting railed. I kept waiting for some noir narration or a twist but no, it's exactly what it promises. The sketchy art style actually makes the cumshot look kind of artistic, which is a sentence I never thought I'd write.
- animation▶ INSERT COIN
Jungle fucky-fucky
You know what really gets me about this whole thing, the grass. That specific patch of grass. I'm still thinking about it three days later while I'm trying to send work emails on my phone and the image just pops back in. It's not even good grass, animation wise. It's this flat green smear, like someone drew it in MS Paint while distracted by a youtube video about the history of concrete. And yet, that's where the entire universe of this... game... collapses into its own punchline. So Tarzan. He's just there, dick out, going at it with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever who found an unattended pillow. The animation loop is this janky, hypnotic piston motion. I watched it for an uncomfortably long time, not because it was hot, but because I was trying to figure out if his loincloth was just a part of his character model or a separate asset that was supposed to flap. It doesn't flap. It's just a brown triangle fused to his crotch. The whole thing has the energy of a Newgrounds submission from 2003 that someone forgot to finish, but in a way that circles back around to being genuinely funny. The joke is telegraphed from a mile away, of course. The "pussy in the grass" is, shockingly, not a pussy. It's a carnivorous plant. Or maybe just a regular plant with a bad attitude. The face Tarzan makes when he realizes... chef's kiss. Pure, unfiltered regret rendered in three frames of animation. I actually snorted. It's a one-note joke stretched over a couple of minutes, a shitpost in interactive form. There's no gameplay. You don't do anything. You just watch this muscular idiot make a series of escalatingly bad decisions in the jungle. The sound design is what kills me, just these wet slapping noises that sound like someone stepping in mud, completely divorced from the visual action. I tried to show it to someone and the browser crashed. I think that's the intended experience, honestly. A perfect, stupid artifact.