Vi GAMES
Dive into 3 Vi games, hand-picked and ready to start right in your browser.
- visual novel▶ INSERT COIN
Summoner's Quest Ch.9.5
The loading screen for this parody just hangs there, a crude drawing of Jinx that looks like someone did it in MS Paint while half asleep. No animation, no music at first, just that image. I almost closed the tab. Then a text box pops up with broken English and I'm supposed to be some summoner dude, and Vi is standing there with tits that defy every law of physics. The whole thing feels like it was slapped together in a weekend, maybe a single night, but that's also kind of the charm? It doesn't pretend to be something it's not. You pick a route, Vi or Caitlyn, and the dialogue is this glorious mess of horny nonsense. Vi says something like "I will punch you then kiss you" and I laughed out loud. The choices are basic, maybe two per scene, but they actually change what insults she throws at you before the clothes come off. There's this moment where Caitlyn adjusts her hat for the fifth time and I'm thinking, is this a fetish for the dev? The whole thing is unpolished, deliberately so, and the sex scene at the end of each route is described with the kind of direct filth you'd expect from a late-night chatroom. Wet pussy, hard cock, the works. No metaphors, no poetry, just fucking. What bugs me though, and I know it won't get fixed, is that Jinx is on the damn title screen but she's barely in the game. A few lines, a flash of her crazy smile, then nothing. Why put her front and center if you're not gonna let me rail the loose cannon? The Caitlyn route has this weird moment where the text refers to her as "the sheriff lady" like the writer forgot her name mid-sentence. The art during the sex scene is actually more detailed than the rest, like all the effort went into the cumshot. Fair enough, I guess. The game knows what it is, a quick wank for League fans who've spent too long on Rule34. It doesn't overstay its welcome, doesn't try to be deep, just gives you two champions and a sticky ending. I still wish I could've fucked Jinx though.
- visual novel▶ INSERT COIN
Summoners Quest Ch.9
The loading screen sits there like a half finished spreadsheet and I'm already thinking about patch notes for a game that will never get them. Summoners Quest, right, the follow up where you finally get both Vi and Jinx in one room. Not exactly a visual novel with branching paths that matter, more like a slideshow where the next button is doing all the heavy lifting. And the art, oh boy, it's got that specific crusty look, like someone traced over a LoL screenshot in MS Paint and then added cum. Which, for this site, is basically a seal of quality. So the whole thing is you're some summoner guy, and Vi shows up first. Her tits are massive, like they forgot how anatomy works but remembered the assignment was big cock energy. Then Jinx pops in, all chaotic neutral with her pigtails and that grin. The threesome scene, if you can call it that, plays out with zero pacing. One minute you're talking, next minute everyone's naked and the sound effects are just... missing. There's a button for the cumshot and it just loops the same frame like a broken gif. I spent way too long clicking it just to see if anything would change. It didn't. What lingers is the weird disconnect. The dialogue tries to be funny, Jinx says something about explosions, but the text box is so small and the font is Comic Sans level bad. I kept thinking about how the first part of this series probably had the same issue. Nobody's fixing that. The game doesn't want you to feel anything except a vague sense of accomplishment for clicking through to the end. And maybe that's the whole genre in a nutshell, a data point on the curve of increasingly lazy porn games. Big cock tag checks out though, I'll give them that.
- witcher▶ INSERT COIN
Dirty Fantasy - v2.9
Fucking hell, the animation in this thing. It's like someone took a Witcher 3 mod fever dream and just... ran with it. You've got Ciri, but she's not fighting the Wild Hunt, she's getting absolutely railed by a tentacle monster that looks like it crawled out of a hentai site from 2006. And the sound design, or lack of it, is just wet squelches that loop awkwardly. I swear one of the moans is the exact same sample from that old Ahri flash game, you know the one. Don't pretend you don't. The whole setup is you're some generic dude, a "male protagonist" with no face and a dick that's always ready. You just wander into scenes. One minute you're talking to Ashe, who's got these massive, gravity-defying tits, and the next she's on her knees. The dialogue is pure gold, like it was translated through three different languages and then back by a horny AI. "Your sword is so big, champion," Jinx says, before a titfuck scene that defies all known physics. I wish there was more build up, some actual adventure, but the game's not interested. It just wants to get to the creampie. Then there's the group sex scene with Katarina and Vi. Vi's using a sex toy on Kat while you take her from behind, and the whole thing is so absurdly animated it loops into being hilarious. Caitlyn watches from a corner for some reason, just... there. The art is 2dcg, but it's that weird, shiny 2D where everyone looks slightly oiled up. I appreciate the directness, honestly. No puzzles, no grinding, just click and get to the anal sex. It's a pocket adventure alright, a pocket full of jizz. The fantasy setting is just wallpaper for the next titfuck, and I can't even be mad. It knows what it is. A dirty, unpolished mess that delivers exactly what the tags promise, and not a single pixel more.