Snow White and Crimson Hood

Right, so the first click is Red Riding Hood in the woods and there's this dwarf, right? Not one of the seven, just some random dwarf with a massive, veiny thing that looks like a third arm. The art is... look, it's deliberately janky. Like someone drew it on a bus. But that's the whole point, I think. The faces are all slightly off, the tits are these huge, gravity-defying balloons that would break a real woman's spine, and the animations are basically two frames sliding back and forth. It's a mess. But I couldn't stop clicking the green "next" button. That's the only mechanic. Click, next image, click, next bit of terrible dialogue. Snow White shows up later, looking less like a fairytale princess and more like she's had some really questionable work done. The whole thing is this weird, hypnotic slideshow of parody filth. The dwarf from before is suddenly there with her, and the scale is all wrong, his head barely reaches her knee but his cock is the size of her forearm. It's like a fever dream you'd have after eating bad cheese. The dialogue is so stupid it circles back to being funny. "Oh grandma, what a big cock you have." It's not Shakespeare. There's a moment where the wolf, who is just a guy in a really bad fur suit, gets involved with Red Riding Hood and the whole scene just lingers on this one poorly drawn spit-bridge for what feels like an eternity. You just stare at it, click, and it's still there. It's almost avant-garde. The sound is just a looping 10-second royalty-free beat that drills into your skull. I muted it after two minutes. Honestly, the whole thing feels like a shitpost that somehow became a game. It's not good. But I played through the whole thing twice. I don't know what that says about me. The ending just... stops. No climax, no resolution, just a blank screen. Perfect, really.

• fairy tale
• humor
• dwarf
• red riding hood
• blowjob